Waiting For Her People To Call My People

EDITORIAL FRIDAY 17.09.10.
Since it was announced this week that Oprah Winfrey is coming to Australia to film her television show, there have been all sorts of suggestions for who and what should appear on the show, as well as for things for Oprah to see and do while she is here. The Channel Ten entertainment reporter Angela Bishop even suggested in her interview with Oprah that perhaps she might like to stay with a dinky di Australian family, something which Oprah appeared to find appealing. Of course, there would be no shortage of volunteers prepared to play host to the American TV star, but I wonder if she really would enjoy such a visit.

I mean, this is Oprah we’re talking about. One of the richest women in the world, accustomed to being able to have the best of everything. If she was suddenly to find herself camping out at my place she might find things a little cramped. Good heavens, what would she think of the untidy mess in the kids’ rooms, and could she stand sharing the bathroom with the rest of the family? And just what on earth would we talk about? I mean, I am not about to start jumping up and down on my own couch talking about being in love with Katie Holmes just to keep my house guest amused. But I suspect that she might find our usual discussions about balancing the family finances just a tad mundane.

Or perhaps it would be a novelty for her. Perhaps that’s just the sort of thing that she wants to experience. If so, I suppose I can convince my son to vacate his room for a few nights so that Oprah can make her way through the meccano parts and dirty clothes strewn across the floor and curl up in bed in a real Aussie home. We could make our traditional Saturday morning breakfast of bacon and scrambled eggs, followed by doing a couple of loads of laundry and the weekly clean up around the house. Chores done, we could pack up the 30 plus and some bottled water and drive down to the beach. I would carefully explain to Oprah about swimming between the flags, and how to swim across a rip to get back to shore. But not before pulling her leg about the risk of shark attack. Well, she is American after all, so a bit of good natured ribbing should be a part of her Aussie experience.

Yep, sounds perfect to me. I’m just waiting for her people to call my people.