Friday, April 3, 2009

John Cobb Has The Explanation

There has been an enormous reaction to the reported outburst from the Prime Minister which is said to have left a flight attendant in tears. While many have been outraged that a man in such a position of power and authority could be so insensitive to a young lady in a subordinate position, others have suggested that getting told off by the boss is something that happens in almost every workplace. By far the best explanation has come from the Shadow Minister for Agriculture, John Cobb. I can’t do any better than to simply share with you Mr. Cobb’s press release, word for word. Here it is.

The red meat free diet of the Prime Minister was taking its toll on the Prime Minister, leading to a brain meltdown which left a VIP Jet hostess in tears, the Shadow Minister for Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry, John Cobb said today.

Mr Cobb said it was an established fact that red meat was an excellent source of iron.

“Without iron in their diet a person will become pale, insipid, wishy-washy, anaemic and prone to outrageous outbursts.

“It is obvious the Prime Minister was as weak a limp lettuce and was suffering from the lack of a decent steak when he reduced a VIP air hostess to tears.

Mr Cobb said this could be the only explanation because he didn’t believe our Prime Minister was such a spoilt brat that he would chuck a toddler tantrum because his ‘special meal’ wasn’t available.”

“The Prime Minister’s lack of red meat in his diet would also explain his extraordinarily high staff turn-over rate. The lack of a decent lamb chop over an extended period of time would certainly make me very cranky,” Mr Cobb said.

Mr Cobb said a number of lamb and beef producers in his electorate of Calare had contacted him and were only to happy to invite the Prime Minister to their farms where they would chuck a chop, a couple of steaks, and a snag on the BBQ for the PM.

“I would happily host the Prime Minister to the best red meat feed (including salad and vegies) he has ever had and would like to invite the Prime Minister and his wife to the Calare electorate, the heartland of our red meat industry to get some iron into his diet to help him control his anger issues.

Mr Cobb said whilst Sam Kekovich is right when he says it is un-Australian not to eat red meat, especially lamb, it was actor Sam Neill who highlighted the bundle of nutrients in red meat making it a foundation food essential for brain development and function.

“Given the tough times Australia is heading into the Prime Minister needs all the brain development and function he can get at the moment.

That’s the press release from John Cobb, Shadow Minister for Agriculture, Fisheries and Forestry. I just knew there was a logical explanation, and on behalf of all Australians, I thank the Shadow Minister for getting to the bottom of this matter.

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